Lay the World at My Feet
by scatterthestars
Summary: When Chris agrees to let Darren help with his dating life he never expected for it to change his world.Crisscolfer


**A/N: Title of the story comes from the Matt Nathanson song Kiss Quick. Don't send link to actors.**

_Drip,drip,drip_

Perhaps, hiding in the bathroom wasn't the best thing to be doing right now, and yet here he was, alone, with the door locked and the sound of water droplets hitting the sink the only noise filling the, otherwise, quiet room. The dripping of the water reminding him of the time he's wasting in the bathroom, and on this blind date.

Turning the faucet on and cupping a handful of water, splashing his face -the cold of the water giving enough of a shock to wake him up from the nightmare he is currently going through. Water is running off his face and down his neck, the drops wetting the collar of his shirt, he cups another handful and splashes his face again.

Chris shuts the stream of water off and dries his face, the paper towels rough on his skin. He stares at himself in the mirror and sees the look of someone who rather be somewhere else, and realizing it's the truth. He hangs his head, hands clutching the edge of the sink counter, breathes and just wants to get this date over with.

He thinks back to the date so far, thinks about how James never stopped talking -he was a constant stream of words- how he kept making lewd comments, and threw him looks that made him want to slap him senseless. Maybe, he could fake a stomach ache and leave early, go home and eat a pint of chocolate ice cream and forget everything to do with this guy.

Standing back up, and fixing his jacket, he puts on a smile that's anything but genuine and walks out to the table where James is waiting.

_Drip,drip,drip_

* * *

Inside his house he throws the keys on the table by the entrance, lays his head against the door and just waits for the feeling of _no_ to leave his body. Pushing himself off the door and walking to his freezer, undoing his tie in the process, and goes to grab the double chocolate ice cream he's more than deserving of.

Lid off, spoon standing up in the middle, Chris sits at his kitchen island and digs into the carton, smiling when the sweetness hits his tongue.

On his fourth spoonful his phone rings with a familiar song, "Hello."

"How was it?" Darren asks on the other end.

"How was what?"

"Your blind date."

"How'd you know about that?"

"You know, Lea can never keep a secret. So, tell me, was he as great as she made him out to be."

"Let's just say, I'm going to give Lea a talk about setting me up on dates with guys that are assholes."

"That bad."

"He somehow managed to insult me and hit on me, all in the same sentence." Chris says, and then recounting the whole date to Darren. "What really put the nail in the coffin was his table manners, and how he treated the waitress. He was a complete jerk that I never want to think of again.

"I just want to meet that one person, my prince charming, and not have to kiss all these frogs beforehand. Is it wrong that I want to meet that one guy who will sweep me off my feet, and gives me my happy ending that I want?"

"No, everybody deserves their happy ending -even someone as great as you. I'm pretty sure you're prince charming is out there, and you'll be swept off your feet without even knowing it's happening."

"Yeah, I know, but the searching process still sucks, and finding a guy I like is worse. No wonder I'm still a virgin -I'm so fucking picky."

"It's okay to be picky." Darren reassures him.

They spend the next hour catching up on anything and everything, talking like as if it's been longer than the five days they haven't seen each other.

A few hours later Chris collapses on his bed and puts the horrible day behind him.

* * *

After finishing shooting Monday, Chris is at Darren's apartment going through his cabinets and being greeted with nothing but junk food, "Do you have anything to eat for someone over the age of ten?"

Darren, who's eating a bowl of cereal, looks up at him, "What's wrong with the food I have?"

"You have nothing but junk food, and three boxes of Fruit Loops."

"Hey, don't knock Fruit Loops, they are a sugary delight," Darren says around a spoon full of the cereal. "And I've always loved the bird on the box."

Chris rolls his eyes at him, deciding to snack on pop tarts, and sits at the table with Darren. He breaks the pop tart up in small chunks, eating a piece every now and then.

"So, you want to tell me the reason you invited me over?" Chris asks, breaking the silence of the room.

"What, I can't invite my best friend over to hang."

Chris raises an eyebrow at him and gives him a look that says 'really' all over it.

"Okay, I was thinking about how you mentioned you were having problems dating, and I want to help."

"Help," Chris repeats. "How?"

"Be your wingman, go to places with you, be there for you when you need someone to vent to about your dating problems," Darren says, raising a finger for every reason. "Tell you if guys are a good choice and all that jazz. Let me help you."

"I guess it could be fun." Chris says, shrugging his shoulders.

"Yay," Darren shouts as he throws his arms in the air. "I get to help find you a boyfriend and possibly get you laid."

Chris drops his head in his hands and groans, "Why am I already regretting this."

* * *

The next day Chris, who is rereading the scene he will be shooting later, is startled when Darren plops down in his chair next to him, "Yes, Dare, how can I help you."

"I was thinking last night after you left.."

"You thinking can sometimes be a bad thing." Chris cuts in, not looking up from his script.

"Funny, I'm dying of laughter," Darren jokes. "But anyways, I was thinking about the places we could go to and guy hunt."

Chris looks at him giggling, "Did you just say guy hunt to me?"

"Yeah, something wrong with that?"

"No, no it just seems...you're really excited to be doing this with me and for me."

"Hell yeah I am," the biggest looking grin on Darren's face as he talks. "I thought the first place we could go to is the most obvious -a gay club."

"A club, you are willing to go to a gay club with me?"

"Hello, wingman," Darren throwing emphasis on the last word. "That's the whole point of being one. So, you want to go to one this Saturday?"

"You know what, lets do it," Chris gives in and thinking it might be fun. "Just, don't complain to me when the men hit on you."

"I would only complain if they didn't."

He rolls his eyes and laughs at Darren knowing this Saturday should prove to be fun if he's there.

* * *

It's Saturday night and Chris is stepping out of Darren's car that's parked across the street from the club they will be going to.

"You ready to have some fun?"

"Yeah, just stay close; you're my armour, my protection, in case anything happens."

"Will and can do."

Chris walks through the doors of the club, Darren a step behind him, and immediately his vision filled with men dancing under strobe lights, some of them almost having sex on the dance floor, and other lounging around the bar. He's not sure if he made the right choice in agreeing to come here but he'll make the most of it.

The few feet it takes to walk to the bar have every set of eyes he passes on him, looking him up and down. At the bar he sits and orders two beers, Darren sitting next to him and handing him one of the bottles; he drinks to have something to occupy himself, and his mind, at the moment.

"You should go talk to somebody," Darren says over the music playing. "I see a few guys that look like they could be of interest to you."

Chris looks around and thinks he knows who Darren is talking about, still choosing to sit at the bar and drink his beer, "Maybe later."

Later, which happens after two more beers and a couple of tequila shots, is when Chris goes to the dance floor -egged on by Darren. Music pounding in his ear, sweat making his shirt stick to his skin and dancing with a guy -one he noticed earlier and wasn't half-bad looking- and he sees Darren still sitting at the bar watching him intently. Five minutes later and his head begins to spin, "I need to sit down," he tells the man.

As he's trying to walk away he feels a hand grip his elbow, squeeze hard, and pull him back a few inches.

"Come on baby, I know where we can sit." He hears growled into his ear, his stomach turning at the way it's said.

"No, thank you, I'm just going to find who I came here with." Chris says while trying to pull his arm free of the tight grip around it.

"You might have come with somebody, but you're leaving with me."

Chris feels the fingers digging in deeper into his skin, knowing there will marks in the morning, and fear running through his body. He tries everything to break free but the other man is too strong; then he turns in hopes of looking for Darren only to see that he is right behind him, "Please, let my boyfriend go."

Chris is so shocked by what Darren says that he momentarily forgets about the situation he is in; he is then surprised at the feeling he gets at Darren calling him his boyfriend.

"You two are dating?" He hears through the haze in his mind, making out that the man isn't buying it.

"Yes, for quite some time now." Darren tells the guy. "What, we don't look good together."

"No, you just don't seem like the type to date men."

"Well, I'm with him and that's why we came here together." Chris just stares at Darren as he talks. "Now, let him go before I do it for you."

Chris feels the fingers loosen and the hand leave his arm, he walks into Darren's arms and takes comfort in the safety he feels in being in them.

"Prove it." He hears the man say over his shoulder.

All that goes through Chris' mind is, _'shit.'_

"What?" Darren questions.

"If you're with him, you'll have no problem in showing a little public display of affection."

Chris pulls back and looks into Darren's eyes and says just loud enough for him to hear, "It's okay, you don't have to do anything for that jerk, we can just walk out of here."

"I'm waiting." The man says annoyingly.

Chris turns his head to throw him a glare, and when he looks back to Darren he is met with a mouth on his. He tenses at first until he realizes that Darren is kissing him -Darren and not some character he plays; he relaxes into the kiss, opens his mouth when he feels a tongue run along the bottom of his lip. The moan that escapes his throat should embarrass him but it doesn't, it makes him wrap his arms around Darren's neck and hold tight. The hand at his lower back slips under his shirt and fingers graze skin, the parts of area they touch making his skin seem hotter. He arches his back and Darren puts more force behind the kiss; Chris feels as if everyone disappeared and it's just the two of them sharing this moment.

To soon the soft lips are leaving his and the outside world comes rushing back: the people around them, the music and lights. Chris is breathless when Darren pulls back and he stares at him, and looks at the lips that were just on his -red and slightly swollen. When he runs his tongue along his bottom lip he can taste Darren, tastes the alcohol that was on his tongue and the hint of something else he can't make out.

"Enough proof for you?" Chris is lightheaded and barely makes out Darren's words.

"Shit, I guess I was wrong."

"I guess so." Chris sees Darren turn his gaze back to him, "Lets get out of here."

Chris, who's speechless, nods his head.

Walking outside, his fingers interlaced with Darren's -their hands fitting perfectly together, the cool air hits his hot skin. He tries to understand what just happened but all he can think about is Darren's lips on his, his hand at his lower back and how easy it was to lose himself while being kissed by him. They stop in front of Darren's car and he finally breathes and tries to think of anything but a kiss on a dance floor. It seems though his mind wants to think of nothing else and it makes it difficult to focus on anything.

In the end he is so lost in thoughts of kissing Darren that he doesn't hear him asking a question.

"I'm sorry, what?" Once he manages to quiet his thoughts.

"I was just asking if you're okay."

What he wants to say is _'After that kiss, no,'_ but instead he answers, "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"It's just that you look a little shaken up."

"Probably from that guy," the excuse he gives for the trembles going through his body. "I'll be fine in a few minutes."

"That didn't go as I hoped it would." Darren tries to say in a joking manner.

"What did you expect to happen, that I would meet a guy and decide to have a drunken hook-up." Chris says, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

"No, I thought you would have a good time with somebody for a few hours and come out of it with a date and not bruises." Darren tells him -his voice breaking at the end.

"Hey, it's not your fault; I was the one that agreed to dance with him. Don't beat yourself up over it." He speaks as he wraps his arms around Darren in a warm embrace. "Come on, I'm ready to go home and sleep."

"Yeah, okay...home."

* * *

The car ride to his house is filled with silence when all he wants to do is ask Darren why he did it. When he looks over, ready to ask, he sees Darren pulling a piece of candy out of his pocket -cherry flavored Jolly Rancher- figuring out that was the taste he couldn't place earlier.

"Want one?"

"Yeah."

Chris grabs the proffered candy and twists the wrapper, the crinkling loud in the quiet car, and places it in his mouth. His mouth is filled with the cherry flavor and it takes him back to Darren's lips on his, he turns to him, "Why'd you do it, we could have just left."

He watches Darren, waits for him to answer -the clock on the dashboard making him aware of the passing minutes. "I thought it was the safest way to deal with the problem, no harm no foul. Sorry, if I caught you off guard and scared you."

"No need to apologize," Chris says out loud when all that goes through his mind is _'I don't want you to feel sorry for something that felt right.'_ "It was nothing, just a kiss. Right?"

He sees the look on Darren's face fall the slightest but thinks nothing of it when he turns to him with a smile, "It was nothing."

The remainder of the ride Chris stares out the car window and tries not to think about lips with a hint of cherry flavor to them.

When he's opening the car door and begins to step out Darren surprises him by grabbing his wrist to stop him. Chris sits back against the seat smiling and waits to hear what Darren has to say.

"You know you're very loud when thinking."

"Um...okay." He's confused.

"I just mean, I could see you thinking about everything that happened, and I wanted to tell you don't put too much thought into anything." Darren clarifies for him.

"Why would I put more thought into something that meant nothing?" Chris says, knowing what Darren is talking about, his smile falling the slightest.

"Okay, good. Well, I guess I'll see you at work Monday."

"Monday." Chris repeats. He climbs out of the car and goes inside his house, sagging against the door when he closes it. He pushes himself off and walks to the bathroom -removing his clothing along the way- and turns on the shower.

Standing under the hot spray he brings his hand to his mouth and fingers brush against lips; he feels the smile forming under his fingers as he remembers and then groans, "This can't be good," he says out loud.

That night as he sleeps his dream is filled with a kiss in the middle of dance floor and cherry Jolly Ranchers.

* * *

When he sees Darren at work the following Monday they are still the same two best friends, friends who happened to share a kiss, and go about their day like normal.

At lunch Chris is sitting with Harry when he sees Darren walking over to their table, "You joining us?"

"Yes, could use the company."

"The more the merrier." Harry says around the food in his mouth.

All through lunch Darren and him act like they did before, Chris is relieved that there is no change between them and scared because he's already seeing Darren in a different light.

"Something happen between Darren and you?" Harry asks after Darren has left.

Chris turns his head so fast to look at Harry he almost gets whiplash, "What, no...why would you think that."

"I don't know the way he looked at you was different."

"Different, how can he look at me different?"

"Just that his eyes would light up when he looked at you, I've never seen that happen before." Harry explains, "So, did something happen?"

"Hey, Chris, Harry, we're shooting again." An assistant calls to them, distracting them long enough for Chris to avoid answering the question.

In between filming a scene later Darren leans over to Chris, "Glad to know nothing has changed after what happened Saturday."

"Yeah, me too." Chris lies.

* * *

Thursday after work Chris is resting on his couch when his phone rings, "Hey, Dare, what's up?"

"Don't hate me."

Chris pinches the bridge of his nose and shuts his eyes, "What'd you do?"

"I kind of set you up on a date with some guy I met today."

Huffing out a breath and trying not to let the anger into his voice when he speaks, "Who is he?"

"His name is Marcus; he's 26 and seems nice."

"How did you meet him?"

"At some event I attended tonight, we talked for an hour and when I suggested that the two of you should go on a date he said he would be all for it."

"So, you had me agree to a date when I wasn't even present in the conversation?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Look you can always cancel and we can hang out instead."

"No, I'll go. What day should I be expected to meet this Marcus?"

Darren tells him when and where to meet Marcus for their date.

They somehow manage to stay on the phone for the next four hours and talk like they don't have an early shooting schedule in the morning.

* * *

After leaving his date with Marcus and driving home Chris is close to screaming.

Inside his house he picks up the phone and dials Darren, "Next time you think it would be nice to set me up on a date with someone you've known for an hour, please don't." Chris trying his hardest not to yell at Darren.

"I'm sorry." He hears on the other end of the phone.

"You better be sorry," voice rising the slightest. "You owe me big time."

He hangs up, throws the phone on the couch and grabs a pillow and screams into it.

Chris opens his door a few hours later to find Darren standing on the other side with take-out in one hand and a case of beer in the other.

"Forgive me," Darren says while lifting his hands.

Chris steps out of the way letting Darren inside and walks to his kitchen. Hopping up on his kitchen counter and taking the offered box of Chinese food. Grabbing noodles with his fingers, tilting his head back and opening his mouth he drops the food on his tongue; when he looks back it's to Darren staring at him with his mouth partially open and eyes wide.

"Do I have something on my face?" Chris brings his hand up to his face to feel for any stray food.

Darren, realizing he was staring, shakes his head and takes a drink of his beer to distract himself.

"You know you're not completely forgiven," Chris speaks after finishing his food. "To accomplish that I will need ice cream."

"Deal."

He finishes his beer and hops off the counter and goes to sit at the table with Darren (fingers thrumming against the table top as he waits.)

Once he notices that Darren is finished he stands up and goes to grab his shoes.

Shoes on and ready he turns to Darren, "Lets go."

"Go?" Confusion crossing Darren's face.

"Get ice cream, duh." Chris says like it's the most obvious thing.

"You do realize it's almost mid-night."

"Yes, and," Chris, shrugging his shoulders, seeing nothing wrong with the request. "Don't ask why I want ice cream at mid-night and I won't ask why you came over here this late at night to apologize."

Walking down the frozen food aisle, not caring that he is in pajama pants and a t-shirt, Chris grabs a pint of Chunky Monkey and Darren grabs a pint of Dublin Mudslide. There's only a handful of other people walking around and paying them no attention.

Ice cream paid for and on their way back to his house, Chris is ready to devour his. When he hears crinkling he turns just in time to see Darren popping a cherry Jolly Rancher in his mouth, he is suddenly back on that dance floor and hates Darren for not realizing what he is doing.

Back at his house, sitting on the couch with the TV on low to a reality show, Darren and him eat their ice cream and talk.

"Want to tell me what exactly Marcus did?"

"If he told you he had no idea who I was when you two talked, he obviously lied." Turning to Darren and explaining to him. "The first thing he did was ask if I could get him a job, I almost left right then -but since I'm a good guy I gave him a chance, not a good idea."

"It got worse?"

"Yes, he kept asking for a picture of the two of us together; the worst part is when I told him there wouldn't be a second date and he told me, and I quote,_ 'You are a prude who needs to spread those legs for me_.'"

"Fuck, now I really feel bad for setting this date up." Darren moans into his hands. "I want to find this guy and punch him."

"I know the feeling, which is why; naturally, I got up and slapped him." Chris smirks as Darren looks at him with a shocked expression.

"Good for you. How hard?"

"Enough to leave a red handprint across the side of his face." Chris smiles triumphantly.

By the time their ice creams are finished it's close to two in the morning and they both need sleep. Darren stands up and raises his arms above his head, Chris hearing bones pop and noticing the strip of skin that is revealed when his shirt goes up too far. He stands and walks Darren to his door, not wanting him to go.

"I'm sorry about Marcus," Darren says while standing by the door about to leave. "I wouldn't have set you up on date with him if I had known he was like that."

"It's okay, he was just another frog...no wait, bullfrog." Chris laughs at his correction and sees Darren smile.

All of a sudden he feels fingers brush his hair away from his forehead and slide down the side of his face, a thumb stroke back and forth across his cheek before it brushes across his bottom lip, his heart beating faster, and then all to soon the hand is gone, "I should go...leave...get home and get some sleep, goodnight."

"Yeah, okay...night."

When he sees the door close behind Darren he is confused as to what just occurred and thrilled at the same time because he felt alive from that touch.

"What the hell just happened?" He asks himself out loud.

* * *

Chris is walking out of the coffee shop when he runs into somebody and spills his coffee down the front of their shirt. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry...I should watch where I'm walking."

He pats at the man's shirt with the napkins he had -still apologizing. When he looks up to the man he immediately notices how handsome he is: green eyes, brown hair and a smile that Chris likes.

Realizing that his hand has stopped on the man's chest he pulls it back and apologizes again for the accident.

"It's okay; I should be able to get the stain out." No hint of anger in the man's voice.

"Well, at least let me make up to you and buy you a coffee that doesn't end up on your shirt."

"Free coffee with a handsome man, I'm in. Thought this day was going to be a bad one, guess I was wrong."

"I'm Chris by the way." Holding out his hand to shake.

"Jaxon, with an x."

"So, 'Jaxon, with an x,' how about that coffee." Chris says his hand fitting almost perfect in Jaxon's as they shake hands.

"Lead the way."

* * *

Three hours later Chris is flinging himself on Darren's couch and smiling.

"Why are you so happy?"

"I met someone today and now have a date Friday." Excitement noticeable as he talks.

"Who's the lucky guy?" Darren asks, turning his back to Chris and walking to his kitchen.

"His name is Jaxon, with an x, and we met when I spilt my coffee on him."

Chris hears a laugh come from the kitchen, "I guess being clumsy has its advantages."

"Hey, I'm not clumsy; I'm just prone to accidents every now and then." He defends. "This accident just happened to land me a date with a good looking guy."

"Congrats, you deserve to go out with someone who is nice." Chris not sure if he imagines hearing the smallest quiver in Darren's voice as he speaks.

"Thanks," he yells to the kitchen. "Now come back so we can order food and watch movies."

After they have eaten every morsel of food they ordered, Chris is lying on the couch with Darren sitting on the end and both of them drinking and watching TV. He is so relaxed that when his eyes get heavy he is asleep within minutes.

The next thing he knows, Darren is whispering in his ear trying to wake him up. "No, tired."

"I know, but I wanted to see if you wanted to sleep here or in a more comfortable bed."

"Don't care...wanna sleep." He mumbles.

Arms are picking him up and he is so tired that he doesn't care to fight it; he wraps his arms around Darren's neck and lets himself be carried to the bedroom. He feels the softness of the bed, the blankets beneath him and he relaxes into it as he is laid down.

"Is it okay if I take off your pants; only so you aren't uncomfortable when you sleep?"

"That's fine."

Cool air hitting him when his pants are being removed, slipped off his legs and shivering some when it happens. He crawls under the blanket seeking warmth; the blanket providing some but not enough. When he feels Darren wrap an arm around his waist and pull him to his chest and he receives the rest of the warmth he was seeking out; he interlaces his fingers with the hand on his chest (once again noticing how perfect his hand fits in Darren's.)

Chris can feel the hot puffs of breath at the back of his neck as Darren breathes out, a thumb stroking over his chest and a heartbeat going faster than normal on his back.

He thinks how simple and easy it is to be in Darren's arms and feels safe. The last coherent thought he has before succumbing to sleep is how he wants to be in Darren's arms forever.

Waking up the next morning snuggled into Darren's side with a hand on his lower back; his head resting on Darren's chest and legs tangled together. He blinks his eyes open to fully wake himself, sits up and yawns. Chris chuckles as Darren groans and turns on his stomach. Long eyelashes falling on cheeks and wild, curly hair the two first things he notices when his eyes land on him.

He crawls out of bed and slips his pants back on and goes to the kitchen to make coffee. By the time Darren joins him he has a full breakfast made for the both of them; his way of repaying Darren for allowing him to share his bed with him.

"Sorry for falling asleep and taking up half your bed last night." He apologizes as they sit at the table and begin to eat.

"N' pr'bl'm'." Darren tries to get out around a mouthful of pancakes.

"Slow down or you'll choke."

Chris is stunned at how fast Darren consumes his breakfast, and is more shocked when he says he has to leave for a "thing" he has. When Darren returns from his bedroom dressed casually he stands up to leave himself.

"Thanks for breakfast." Darren says before kissing Chris on his temple.

When he feels Darren's lips on his skin Chris closes his eyes and bites his lower lip from fear of what could slip out of his mouth. It's the quickest of kisses but enough to unbalance Chris for a few seconds; while enjoying the feeling he is shocked, yet again, that Darren does these things as if they are the most normal thing.

Chris notices the shocked look on Darren's face as he realizes what he did, "I should go, talk to you later."

"I'll call you or something, okay?" Darren just nods his head at the question and walks away.

Inside his car Chris rest his forehead against the driving wheel and grips tightly with his hands; wanting to scream at what Darren can do to him with a simple touch. He tries lying to himself but can't because, truth be told, he loved the feeling of how domestic everything seemed to be just now -breakfast and Darren rushing off and kissing him before he left; just like a couple use to a fast paced morning. Now that Chris has had a taste he wants more.

* * *

Chris sits across from Jaxon in the booth, and smiles at the place he picked for their date.

"So, a diner, not exactly what I was expecting."

"What were you expecting?" Jaxon asks, raising an eyebrow but smiling.

"You looked like a four star restaurant kind of guy, not a 24 hour diner."

"Those places are great in all but a diner is more fun."

"My friend Darren would love a place like this; he loves eating at all hours of the night."

At the mention of Darren Chris' mind wanders to what he is doing and if he is thinking about him on this date with Jaxon. He tries not to let his mind wander too much to Darren with no luck; sometimes he has to ask Jaxon to repeat what he said because he was somewhere else. It takes the waitress asking for their orders for Chris to let thoughts of Darren go -for now.

"So, Jaxon, that's a very southern name for someone in L.A." Chris states after the waitress leaves with their orders.

"My mother and I were originally from the south and she named me; doesn't explain why she spelled it with an x and not the usual way."

"I liked the unique spelling of your name."

"Thanks."

They talk about their lives, jobs and all other things but Chris mind keeps wandering to thoughts of Darren. He doesn't know if Jaxon notices -even if he does he doesn't say a word- and feels bad when he realizes he is doing it.

It's made worse by the fact that almost everything they talk about has Chris mentioning Darren and how he should tell him about that later.

Some things Jaxon talks about have Chris devoting his attention to him and what he is saying. He knew that if Darren wasn't running through his mind he would be enjoying this date ten times more.

Five minutes later the waitress is setting Chris' cheeseburger with fries and milkshake down in front of him and he smiles around the first bite.

"Thanks, ma'am." Jaxon tells the waitress before she leaves them to it. "I can't tell if you like your food or not."

Chris, mouth full of food, gives a thumbs up to Jaxon and grins; he is so hungry he finishes his food in record time. "How'd yo find a place like this anyways?"

"One night I was out walking after leaving a club and wondered on to this place. I ordered stack of pancakes, heaven on my tongue, and have been coming back ever since."

"I need to bring Darren here one day," Chris noticing he is talking about someone else while on a date. "Shit, I'm so sorry I keep talking about him; I don't mean to."

"Best friend, are you sure?" Jaxon tilting his head and raising an eyebrow.

"Yes." Chris is answering, although not sure if it's the truth.

For the rest of the date Chris manages not to mention Darren's name again -though it doesn't stop him from thinking about him.

"Excuse me; I'll be back in a few." Chris gets up and walks to the bathroom.

In the bathroom Chris thinks about how Jaxon and him are hitting it off and how that is something Chris is not surprised about. Even with Jaxon and him getting along great he can't stop thinking about Darren; he wants to call him just to hear his voice but knows he shouldn't and decides to get back to his date.

When he gets back to the booth Jaxon is waiting with a slice of cherry and apple pie in front of him. "I thought I should order for you; hope you don't mind cherry."

"I love cherry," Chris laughs as he thinks back to the sudden love of anything cherry. The dessert is sweet on his tongue and the milk he washes it down with cold. Jaxon pays the bill, leaving a generous tip, and thanks the waitress on their way out.

"Well, that was more fun than I expected." Chris says as Jaxon walks him to his car. "Where to next?"

"I could say the same." Jaxon stops and looks to Chris, "Before we do anything more mind if I try something and hopefully change your mind."

"Change my mind about what?"

"You'll see."

"Okay..." Chris' voice trembling at not knowing what to expect.

When Jaxon leans forward and kisses him Chris is shocked but then relaxes into the kiss. He feels lips move against his and the whole time he is waiting for the cherry flavor to hit his tongue, when it doesn't come it dawns on him. He pulls back and brings a hand up to cover his mouth -which is open in shock at what he realized.

"Was I not supposed to do that?" Jaxon asks hesitantly.

"No, that was fine, better than fine actually; it's just that...this isn't where I'm meant to be."

"I know, I kissed you hoping it would make a difference -guess it had the opposite effect."

"What do you mean you know?"

Jaxon leans against Chris' car and stares at him, "Through our whole date you seemed somewhere else, and when you talked about _him_ I knew."

"Yeah, Darren, my best friend; I guess more to me now. Huh, funny how that can change in a heartbeat."

"He knows how you feel?"

"No, but I think I'm ready to tell him how I feel about him." Chris jubilant at that thought. "Sorry for being a bad date."

"No need to be sorry, I still had a great time."

"Me too."

Jaxon kisses Chris once more and pulls back to look at him "Go get him, and tell him he's a very lucky guy."

Chris wraps his arms around Jaxon, hugs him, and thanks him for being so understanding. He gets in his car and drives to see the one person he wants to be with the most right now.

* * *

He must have the biggest smile on his face when Darren opens his door; his heart picking up its pace when he sees Darren.

"Hey Chris, what are you doing here, shouldn't you still be on your date?"

"Yeah, that's not going to work out." Chris says as he walks through the door into Darren's apartment.

"Why, was he another frog?" Chris laughs at how he now uses the term to descibe a guy that was wrong for him.

"No, he was perfect; I could've seen myself on many more dates with Jaxon."

"What was the problem then?"

Chris paces Darren's living room, his fingers interlaced and thumbs twiddling against each other; he gives himself a pep talk in his head to build up to what he needs to tell Darren.

"After the date, we were standing in front of my car and he kissed me, and it caught me off guard a little. Don't get me wrong, it was a great kiss, but as it was happening I realized something."

"What was that?"

"He wasn't who I wanted to be with, who I wanted to be kissing." He explains. "It took me going on a date with a guy that could have been perfect for me to realize the truth."

"What'd you realize?" Darren asks him.

Chris, knowing it's now or never, walks up to Darren and connects their mouths in simple meeting of lips; he wraps his arms around Darren's neck and deepens the kiss. He feels when Darren begins to respond to the kiss, and happiness fills him. Chris is smiling when he pulls back, and rests his forehead against Darren's, "I'm in love with you."

When he opens his eyes it's too a shocked looking Darren and his stomach turns to knots.

"Say something."

Darren just stands there saying nothing, shaking his head and takes a few steps back from Chris.

Chris sees this and realizes the huge mistake he just made; immediately wishing he could take it back.

"Oh, my god, I'm so sorry, I..." Chris not knowing what else to say. "I shouldn't have...I don't know what I was thinking."

The sobs forming in his throat making it hard to speak; he turns and leaves to get to his car. By the time he is outside the tears have started falling.

"Chris wait, let me explain." Darren screams after him.

Even through his crying he hears Darren calling after him, reaching his car and pulling out of the parking lot he sees Darren standing there watching him -a look of remorse on his face- which makes Chris cry harder.

* * *

He barely remembers arriving at his house, unlocking his door, going to his room and drawing the curtains closed and collapsing on his bed crying. He clutches a pillow to his chest, buries his face into it, and just lets the tears come -seeming as if they will never stop.

Sometime between three and four in the morning the crying has ceased, for now, he feels drained and an emptiness that wasn't there a few hours ago. He gets up and takes off the outfit he chose for his date with Jaxon, stripping down to his boxers and undershirt. Climbing back in bed he pulls the covers up over his body, a new wave of tears starting to wrack his body and falling just as much as before; he closes his eyes and falls asleep with tears rolling down the side of his face.

He sleeps, at most, for twenty minutes at a time and tosses and turns when awake. When he is so exhausted that sleep overtakes him his dreams are filled with Darren and him happy, together and in love; he wakes up, a pain in his chest and new tears start to fall.

When he opens his eyes a couple of hours later it's to complete darkness -he sees the curtains closed shut and tries to remember why, and when the events of the night before come rushing back it's like he's experiencing heartbreak all over again. He lies in bed, choosing to ignore the ringing of his phone, and the outside world; he only moves to go to the bathroom and eat (even though it seems he has no appetite.)

He wishes he could go back to before the heartbreak and the kiss on the dance floor, go back to when he just saw Darren as a best friend and everything was simple._ 'If only he hadn't kissed me and then if I hadn't kissed him we could be hanging out right now,' _one of the many thoughts that run through his mind the whole day.

When night has fallen he decides to get out of bed, and check his phone, sending a quick text to everybody to let them know he is not dead. He sees a few texts and voicemails from Darren, deleting them rather than deal with his reasons and apologies right now. Just seeing his name, though, is enough for Chris to slide to floor and bury his head in his hands and cry. He never knew he could cry this much and over a person he was still in love with.

Back in bed, he lies on his side and stares at the moon bright in the night sky, thinking to when he was younger and how anything seemed possible and easy, and nothing could go wrong. Now he knows just how wrong he was, because if anything was possible Darren would be here with his arms around him making him laugh and not be the cause of his pain.

By the time Monday morning has come he is slightly better, though he still feels a new wave of hurt every few hours; getting ready for work he makes the decision to only speak to Darren when they are filming scenes together. He can't deal with Darren trying to apologize to him and having him know how he feels. Just seeing him today will remind Chris of the look on Darren's face after he told him how he felt -even if he doesn't want to remember.

On set Lea and other members of the cast ask what happened; he tells them he caught a virus and didn't feel like getting out of bed. The whole day he senses Darren's eyes on him, and trying his best to hold back the tears whenever he catches glimpses of him.

When Chris is in character it is easy to forget everything and get lost in being someone else for a few hours. He gets to hide inside a character that, at the moment, is happier and stronger than him. He doesn't have to be Chris -the guy in love with his best friend- but someone who has their loved returned; the fact that Darren plays the character returning the love makes him laugh at the irony of it. As soon as the character is gone, Chris is back to dealing with the pain of a broken heart.

The next few days that's how it works, when Darren tries talking to him he walks away or does his best to never be near him (holding back tears every time.) He guesses the quickest way to get over Darren is to erase him as much as possible from his life, and then _try_ to go back to being friends.

This proves to be difficult though, as Darren is constantly trying to talk to him and Chris avoids him whenever he can. The only time Darren has any chance of talking to him is when they are in a group and everyone is chatting -but Darren doesn't say a word to Chris during those chances.

* * *

He doesn't stay on set or in his trailer longer than need be; so night after night he is home early all by himself. Once he thinks of calling Jaxon but decides against it -not wanting to drag him into his problems; although he does need someone to vent to. So, when Harry stops by Thursday night it's no surprise that he figured out what is going in between Darren and him. He tells him everything that happened and feeling a small weight lift off his shoulders while doing it.

"You know he has been miserable the past few days and I couldn't understand why. I saw you avoiding him and knew something must have happened; I thought you two were angry for a completely different reason. Although, I can't say I'm surprised; the way he looks at you -he loves you even if he doesn't know it or won't admit it to himself. Listen to him and give him a second chance."

"Not right now; right now I need space from him."

"Don't take too long holding him at arms length or you might lose him altogether."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry for dumping all my problems on you like this."

"No prob, that's what friends are for to listen and be there when need be." Chris thanks Harry again for listening when he leaves and thinks back to what he told him; if Darren loved him why didn't he say anything last Friday. He shoves the thought away and not wanting to dwell on it any longer; he climbs in bed and manages to sleep through the night.

When Friday rolls around he can see the frustration on Darren's face, even in the way he is acting toward people -snapping at them for the smallest things- Chris wishes he could go calm him, but he can't, and it only makes him angry that he is the main cause of it.

Why he had to fall in love with his best friend, he doesn't know. Chris puts no more thought into it as he leaves work and heads home.

On his drive home he indulges himself with take out and a bottle of wine. Inside his house he heads straight to his bedroom to change into his pajamas. At his dining table he puts all the food out in front of him; he eats to make up for the past few days, a glass of red wine to wash it down. Chris sits on the couch, working on his second glass of wine and flipping through the TV channels, landing on an action movie to occupy his mind for now.

* * *

Blinking his eyes open, not remembering falling asleep, the sun streaming through his partially open blinds, and he groans at the headache he has. Managing, somehow, to take a few pain pills and walk to his bedroom, bury himself under his blanket and sleep for a while longer. It's noon when he emerges from his room, and in need of strong coffee. The rest of the day he spends catching up on work he neglected the past weekend, and cleaning his, otherwise, spotless house. Around six he takes a shower to wash away the day, opting to go with his sleepwear for clothing, and pours the last of the wine, from the night before, and lies on the couch.

Chris is curled up on the couch, still in his pajamas, when there is a knock on his door.

When he answers he doesn't expect to see Darren on the other side of the door, guitar across his back, and looking determined. He walks into the house uninvited, "Please, do come in," Chris says with anger in his voice.

When he turns around he sees that Darren has set his guitar against the couch and is pacing his living room, his hands running through his curls.

"What are doing here Dare, I think me ignoring all your attempts to talk should have been a big clue, I need some time away from you."

"I know, but I need to talk to you, and I will force you to hear what I have to say any way possible, even if it means barging in here like this."

"Fine, but after I need you to leave."

Chris sits back down on his couch, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs, "What is it that you so desperately need to tell me?"

He watches Darren grab his guitar and sit on the edge of his coffee table right in front of him, looks him in his eyes, "Just listen, and know I mean every word."

The sound of guitar strings being thrummed hits Chris' ears, followed by Darren's voice singing soft, and slow.

_Desperate for changing, starving for truth_

_I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you_

_I'm falling even more in love with you_

_Letting go of all I've held on to_

_I'm standing here until you make me move_

_I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

_Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete_

_I'll take your invitation, you take all of me now_

_I'm falling even more in love with you_

_Letting go of all I've held on to_

_I'm standing here until you make me move_

_I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

_I'm living for the only thing I know_

_I'm running and not quite sure where to go_

_And I don't know what I'm diving into_

_Just hanging by a moment here with you_

_There's nothing else to lose, there's nothing else to find_

_There's nothing in the world that can change my mind_

_There is nothing else_

_There is nothing else_

_There is nothing else_

During the break in the song Darren continues to play the chords and stares at Chris, who is completely motionless, and tears threatening to spill over. He doesn't take his eyes off Darren who is staring at him with a look that has Chris slowly feeling happiness return to him; but he is still hesitant to grasp the hope that is growing in him.

_Desperate for changing, starving for truth_

_I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you_

_I'm falling even more in love with you_

_Letting go of all I've held on to_

_I'm standing here until you make me move_

_I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

_I'm living for the only thing I know_

_I'm running and not quite sure where to go_

_And I don't know what I'm diving into_

_Just hanging by a moment here with you_

_Just hanging by a moment_

_Just hanging by a moment_

_I'm hanging by a moment_

_Just hanging by a moment here with you_

Darren finishes, setting the guitar down, and looks to Chris, "So...now you know how I feel."

Chris, who's stunned and confused, talks, "I don't understand, you said that you didn't love me."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, after I kissed you and told you I loved you," a tear finally falling as he speaks. "You never said a word, complete shock on your face, and I think that speaks for itself."

"Yeah, and before I could begin talking you were running out the door thinking I rejected you, and I couldn't catch you fast enough to make you understand." Darren tells him.

"I'm not running now, make me understand." Chris hugs his knees tighter to his chest.

"Well, I spent the next few days, after you told me, trying to think of ways to explain to you the reason I couldn't tell you what you wanted to hear, and why." Chris is still confused, and Darren must see that so he continues. "I was scared of being in love with you, and not because you're a guy, but because of what you will be able to do me if you ever decide to leave. You have my heart completely in your hands, and the power to break it, and me, and that scared me to death. I thought the best way to avoid heartbreak was to push my feelings for you aside, and only look at you as my best friend.

"Then I realized that I wanted to take that chance, I would take the risk of you breaking my heart if it meant I got to be with you as long as possible. So, I spent the last few days trying to get you to hear me out, but you kept ignoring me so I took matters into my own hands. Actually, coming here tonight was the last resort; I wanted you to know how I truly felt...even if it meant you still wanted nothing to do with me in the end."

Chris wipes away the tears that have fallen down his face, letting what Darren has told him sink in, and decides it's the moment of truth. "I love you," he says no louder than a whisper, watches as relief goes throughout Darren's body, and sees the smile he loves.

"I love you, too."

"I will never break your heart; it will be safe with me."

"I believe you."

Chris stands, pulling Darren up with him, and connects their mouths in a kiss that has his heart beating like crazy, sets his blood on fire and is a tiny bit salty from the tears that landed on his lips. He kisses Darren until it feels like he's in every inch of his body and overtakes him.

He feels as if this is the sunshine breaking through the trees after a terrible thunderstorm and it brings with it warmth and love. When he tastes the hint of cherry, probably from a Jolly Rancher Darren ate earlier, a tear rolls down his cheek and he smiles.

Darren pulls back, lips kiss-swollen and breathless, and wipes away the tear. "Still want me to leave?"

"No, stay as long as possible," Chris answers. "Stay for forever."

"I can do that."

One second his feet are on the ground and the next he's in Darren's arms, "What are you doing," he shrieks. "Put me down."

"What does it look like; I'm sweeping you off your feet."

Chris just laughs at Darren; after he stops squirming he stares at Darren's eyes and sees so much love reflected back at him.

"You certainly did sweep me off my feet," he tells Darren while running his thumb across his bottom lip. "I just didn't realize I would also fall."

"Does this mean you will agree to a date with me tomorrow?"

"Yes." Chris replies without a hint of doubt in his voice.

"Looking forward to it."

Chris knows he is completely radiating happiness by this point, and his heart is pounding in his chest -reminding him that this real and that he has forever with Darren.

_Thump,thump,thump_

**The song Darren sings is Hanging By a Moment by Lifehouse**


End file.
